half a million memories

i whispered once
like silent starlight
reflected forever
like distant lovelight
i still yearn for
in every waking
moment and every
waking breath i
breath in hopes
with hopes i
dream of a day
not like this
day but like
that day that
you did come
back to me

jadis says i'm
crazy like that
žan says love
is irrelevent
i say i'm being
irrational thought
patterns like
glittering little
gifts of love
that never
really are like
forever fires
burning deep
inside so deep
i never
want tham

why do i
torment myself
so much that
i never want
to forget the
pain of a half a
million memories
that only hurt
to remember
is to relive
is to relove
so many different
things i hold
inside me
is a little
box of unhinged
feelings i
keep on
trying to
open and set free
the feelings i
have locked up
for so long
too long?
i don't
know all i
know is that
i want you back.