journal . . . . twisted dreams. . . .

the painful memoirs of a <fallen> angel

DISCLAIMER: i use profanity quite often in this, and i state my own views on things that can be offensive to some people. if you are easily angered by stuff like this, get the fuck out of my journal page, and then you should just leave my fucking page alltogether because my entire existance will piss you off. oh, and don't you DARE think that you know me just because you've read my journal. žan is the only one that knows me, and he'll remain the only person that knows me.

also, i may hate a whole lot, but i believe that violence is the most sure sign of stupidity. i'm against violence with all my heart, and i'd never advocate the use of it to solve anything. all that has come from hurting people is pain. pointless, i think.

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date: 05.28.00

*sigh* ok, i've got a whole bunch to say, but i'm not going to write it out here until tuesday... laeya will get a letter from me in the mail on that day, and i think that that's not going to be a good thing. dear, when you read that letter, remember these words, i wrote and sent that without really thinking about it. i have since spent a good long time thinking and praying and such, and i believe that that letter was sent in error. you can read it if you really want to, but my thoughts are different now. there are many things that i've thought of since, and i've reconsidered the choices i made in that poem. out of all the people that have given me advice on past events, I will say that my cousin has given the most helpful and thought-out advice. i'm not saying that no-one else did, but it was the advice that David gave that has finally given me hope...

anyway, as you noticed, i put in a whole new layout/design... pretty i think. i like the pop_up idea of it. we'll see how it all worx out though, right? i *HATE* tripod! PLEASE! SOMEONE! HOST ME!!!!! *sigH* there is a serious lack of sites out there that'll accept me. people tell me that i could get hosted in a heartbeat, but i never am! i really don't understand because i've seen sites out there that are way less cool than mine getting hosted... perhaps it's my additude? i don't know. but, if anyone reads this that hosts, please remember little aeo when you are looking for new hostees.

i would also appriciate any comments/suggestions anyone has on my artwork/design blah blah blah. i'm tired of everyone saying oh, you rock, good work, etc. etc. i want someone that will say 'your work sucks, and this is why...' it'd help me out a whole lot, since i'm always searching for ways to better myself..........

there was something else, and i'm not thinking of it for some godawful reason.....

*sigh* oh well

~ aeo ~
the <fallen> angel